then Jesus blessed the bread and then broke it . . . I go to Mass a few times a week and I alway cross myself at that moment–do this in remembrance of me . . . I cross myself again. Some days I wish I could just stop Mass at that moment until I felt like I understood it–I want to understand the mystery! or at least be able to reflect on that moment. Jesus how do I eucharisto?
Today is 12/12/12. The last time in my life that I will ever see a sequence of numbers like this. I want to celebrate–so I have decided that I will begin living a life of counting my blessings. I’ve sort of already started–my 11-year-old gave me a jump-start!
I was cooking in the kitchen–working hard to make a phenomenal Sunday dinner–it was a special birthday dinner . . . I was taking extra care in ever detail when I saw the blue soccer ball fly through the air–I covered my head thinking it would knock over one of the 3 hot pots on the stove or knock over a gravy boat filled too high or smash the yeast rolls . . . then I heard the clang and the crash.
The blue soccer ball hit the ceiling, landed on the top of the fridge and rolled onto ALL of my Christmas cups–the ones I have been collecting for 20 years! I knew from the sound that there was breakage.
My son acted as if were no big deal–just one cup broke–“and the cup isn’t even broken just the handle!” I went from 0 to 60 a couple of times until I was well into warp speed!
It wasn’t about the cup–well, it sort of was–I was mad!
- it wasn’t the best time to break a cup
- the cup broke all over the other cups requiring lots of washing (because after such a big dinner the dishwasher would be full)
- I remembered the day I bought that particular cup
- his attitude was horrible
- I have said a million times “no balls in the kitchen”–I do allow dribbling/foot skills in the house–but NOT in the kitchen and no kicking again walls
- I was trying to get dinner on the table, in the dining room, on the second Sunday of Lent, for a birthday dinner AND I wanted everything to be PERFECT.
In the brokenness of the cup I am blessed. I am blessed that I have a wonderful son. Who has legs to play soccer. I remind myself that I prayed for this son. Who can teach me the meaning of abundance. I am so incredibly blessed.
In that moment of cleaning the mess of the blue soccer ball and the holly Christmas mug–I found the meaning of my life.
- I live abundantly–I have everything I need. I have more cups than I could ever want! (the loaves and fishes story)
- I give thanks, in everything.
- I found that anger doesn’t get me where I want to be–I want to seek joy!
- I serve God by serving my family JOYFULLY. When I fail at that I fail at serving God–when my intention moves towards perfection it moves from God. When I do things for God, then it becomes perfect.
- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. Romans 15:13.
- I still think balls should stay OUT of the kitchen!
So on this day of 12/12/12 I want to my life to move forward with intention, joyfulness, purpose, and most of all trust that when I give thanks, in everything–God will be at the end of my prayer. God is my safety net! I want to practice intentional gratitude–not just on sunny days when my life seems perfect–but on my hardest days. I know God has been with me on my darkest days.
I am broken and blessed. I thank God each day for my blessings. I have an awesome house vs. my Ford Escort that I lived in–with two dogs and a cat! I have these incredible children and a wonderful husband who love me–for me. I look at everything as a gift to be treasured, respected and honored.
My life is a joy! hard at moments, I lose my temper, I feel emotions other than love, peace and joy, but more and more those negative emotions are fleeting and I find myself seeking joy, grace and giving thanks, in everything. I chose to be joyful, loving, kind, respectful, and thankful in everything I do.
Be Blessed. My prayer is that you will feel the love and faithfulness of a God who wants to show you his abundance just for you. For your own purpose.