I feel very busy lately. Not busy in a good way but more in a non-stop way of not being able to catch my breath and help my kids sound out a word or figure out what digit is in the thousands place. Too busy to repeat the word Pop Pop three times in hopes that my baby actually practices the word that he tries so hard to say, too busy to enjoy my wonderful house (in the fleeting time I have left), my kids and my husband when he calls me.
As I kiss my last big boy goodnight I notice the switch plate–it is a dump truck–his room was first Bob the Builder and then just construction in a Tonka sort of way and I wonder if I should pack that and take it to the new house. I’m so not ready to leave this home where we finally created our family and embraced a life full faith. This home holds so many memories and I’m scared that when we leave here that my memories will be gone.
In this crazy time I can see a dump truck and it makes me cry. As I type this I sit in the office/nursery and see Pooh helping Piglet and resting with Tigger and I think about all the times that I sat in this room and had quiet time with my babies. I know in my heart that I am starting a new exciting chapter in my life with my kids and my husband and yet I long for those moments that seemed to last forever. I remember seeing each one of my babies falling asleep in my arms and I hold on to that moment.
God, thank you for my babies. Each day I realize how precious they are and what a gift you have given me. I beg you to give me the grace to me the mother that you desire and the mother that they need.